by Anna Ram~ Psychologist- Integrative Pastoral Counseling

I am focusing on the issue of spiritual abuse within church communities and other religious groups, as it is vital to every aspect of our faith and belief system, and to our mental health. This subject also relates to the principles of respecting authority, which includes followers and leaders’ understanding of their roles and boundaries. Pastors, elders, servers, priest, nuns, monks, rabbis, imams, missionaries, etc. Every person in position of authority in the church or religious circles have responsibilities, such as guiding members in their faith, providing caring support during tough times, and being accountable for their actions.

 Healthy leadership respects people’s personal space, is being open about decisions, and is acting ethically. Ethics are vital in any profession, especially for those in authority positions.  By understanding these aspects, leaders can help prevent to commit abuses against their male and female followers, and create a thriving and positive environment within and outside their religious communities.

When we talk Trauma, spiritual abuse is one that leaves deep scars in victimized individuals. This wound is often hidden beneath the surface and negatively affecting their relationship with God and others around. Many individuals or families may not even realize they are experiencing these forms of harm until they begin to feel the weight of their emotional and spiritual burdens.

When we feel that something is “off” in a place of worship, we must take a step back, distance a little bit, and get a better perspective within the context of a particular situation.

Jesus, being the son of God in flesh (real identity), knowing his hierarchy in authority, he was very respectful of his followers and very protective against the “teachings of the Pharisees,” for instance. Jesus was assertive and had no fear of men. Seeking always to speak to truth. Jesus engaged in confronting unhealthy and pervasive beliefs and dynamics at play in the religious contexts of his time, to mark difference from his teachings and those of the synagogues, and sects leaders. Jesus is our model to imitate as we discover about him in the Bible,  given to us as a lamp for our path in darkness  and a map to guide our spiritual route in life’s journey. He also gave us his Holy Spirit, to comfort us, to lead us. Our approach to understanding spiritual abuse should start with these two vital gifts and tools. Let’s use them!

Recognizing the Signs

What are some of the signs that evidence the existence of spiritual abuse? 

Manipulation of Faith and Trust:
Spiritual leaders become abusive when use their authority to demand “unquestioning loyalty to their teachings” 
How Jesus confronted this?
In Matthew 23:1-12,  Jesus warned his disciples and followers about the religious leaders, the Pharisees. He acknowledged their authority but criticized their hypocrisy, stating that while they teach the law, they do not practice it themselves,  imposing heavy burdens on others without helping them.
Fear and Coercion:
Individuals are threatened with spiritual consequences, such as damnation or exclusion from the community, if they do not comply with certain demands.
How Jesus confronted this?
Jesus addressed the use of fear and coercion by religious leaders, emphasizing love and acceptance instead. Jesus identifies Himself as the “good shepherd,” contrasting His care. John 10:11-15.
Excommunication and Shunning:
Individuals who dissent or leave the group or church or the religion, are ostracized, with community members instructed to sever ties, further isolating the victim.
Isolation: Spiritual leadership preventing someone from interacting with friends or family who do not share the same faith or beliefs, creating a sense of dependency from the leaders.
How Jesus confronted this?
Jesus actively sought to include and embrace those who were marginalized or isolated by societal and religious norms. Religious leaders of his time asked? “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:15-17.
Control Over Personal Choices:
Decisions about clothing, relationships, or family planning are dictated by religious leaders or partners, often using scripture to justify their control. Here we must pay attention to old cultural contexts in the Scripture and in today’s current cultural contexts in differen countries and the Scripture.
How Jesus confronted this?  
Jesus emphasized personal freedom and the importance of individual conscience over rigid control by religious authorities. Galatians 5:1: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free; stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 1 Peter 2:16:“Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves.”
Shaming and Ridicule:
Individuals are publicly humiliated for their beliefs or practices (sins), leading to feelings of worthlessness and shame.






How Jesus confronted this?  
Jesus consistently challenged the practice of shaming and ridiculing individuals for their beliefs or actions. The Pharisees said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
John 8:1-11.

Financial Exploitation:
Members are coerced into giving money or resources to the organization or leader, often under the guise of spiritual obligation or manipulating that if they give such amount God will give them back double.




How Jesus confronted this?  
Jesus spoke against the exploitation of individuals for financial gain, particularly by religious leaders. Mark 12:41-43. (I invite you to read it through). The widow’s and the wealthy offering.
Giving has to be done basically in balance with this 2 verses:
Malachi 3:10: “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”



Physical or emotional abuse: Rationalized as a form of “spiritual correction” or discipline, often using religious texts to support such actions.

How Jesus confronted this?
Jesus confronted the misuse of religious authority and the justification of abusive behavior emphasizing love, compassion, and the true spirit of the law rather than rigid interpretations that could lead to harm.
Forced  or manipulation to be intimate or have sex.  (Or take advantage of your young age or your vulnerability in pain)





How Jesus confronted this?

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:3-4

Recognizing these signs will help you to identify spiritual abuse in your life or in the lives of others. If you or someone you know is experiencing these forms of manipulation or control, seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals is a vital step toward healing.

Related content: Trauma Healing From Spiritual Abuse: The Journey

2 responses to “Understanding Trauma and Spiritual Abuse”

  1. Chris

    I became a little emotional when I was reading your text. I recognized some of my problems, but these things are happening in a lot of churches allover the world. The result is often that a person is going to live in the past and only is feeling bad about the sins or things that happened in the past.
    Life lays in the future and Jesus is our perfect example. Be blessed!

    1. This is A New Day!

      Dear Reader(s): It’s completely understandable to feel emotional when reflecting on past struggles. Thank you for sharing your self-reflection with us.
      How would Jesus confront this spiritual abuse in churches? He has emphasized complete forgiveness as outlined in 1 John 1:9, which assures believers that their repentance and confession of sins leads to cleansing from unrighteousness. He would highlight God’s forgetfulness of sin,referencing Psalm 103:12,and Micah 7:19, (read them), illustrating that God removes transgressions far from us. The focus should be on “us” accepting this forgiveness, learning from the past, and living in the present,(Romans 8),where there is not more condemnation, so we can embrace a hopeful future.
      Jesus would also challenge those who hinder others with their teachings or rules from accessing the kingdom of God, warning them against hypocrisy or even ignorance,as seen in Matthew 23:13. Let’s remember: “No one can take away from us God’s gift of grace. We must not let them. Ultimately, the relationship between God and individuals is paramount, free from human barriers.

Apreciamos tus comentarios- Leave a comment

2 thoughts on “Understanding Trauma and Spiritual Abuse”
  1. I became a little emotional when I was reading your text. I recognized some of my problems, but these things are happening in a lot of churches allover the world. The result is often that a person is going to live in the past and only is feeling bad about the sins or things that happened in the past.
    Life lays in the future and Jesus is our perfect example. Be blessed!

    1. Dear Reader(s): It’s completely understandable to feel emotional when reflecting on past struggles. Thank you for sharing your self-reflection with us.
      How would Jesus confront this spiritual abuse in churches? He has emphasized complete forgiveness as outlined in 1 John 1:9, which assures believers that their repentance and confession of sins leads to cleansing from unrighteousness. He would highlight God’s forgetfulness of sin,referencing Psalm 103:12,and Micah 7:19, (read them), illustrating that God removes transgressions far from us. The focus should be on “us” accepting this forgiveness, learning from the past, and living in the present,(Romans 8),where there is not more condemnation, so we can embrace a hopeful future.
      Jesus would also challenge those who hinder others with their teachings or rules from accessing the kingdom of God, warning them against hypocrisy or even ignorance,as seen in Matthew 23:13. Let’s remember: “No one can take away from us God’s gift of grace. We must not let them. Ultimately, the relationship between God and individuals is paramount, free from human barriers.

Apreciamos tus comentarios- Leave a comment